Set boundaries in your relationships

Picture a situation where a large family gathered for a festive dinner, everyone is lively discussing something, and suddenly your aunt asks you a question: "Are you going to get married?" Silence hung in the air, and now all attention is focused on you. At this moment, it is important not to get lost and say, for example, the following: "This has nothing to do with the family feast. Let's discuss the upcoming vacation together instead”. Such a firm, but clear and polite answer will make it clear to the interlocutors that you know how to define your personal boundaries — in the future it will help avoid such awkward conversations.

Fighting Fear

Firstly, it is impossible to fight fear. All you can do is recognize it, but most people will never do it. Why? That’s because the desire to change yourself or to change something that inspires fear is weaker than the fear itself. Whether it's ending a relationship or moving to another city, quitting a hated job or starting a business, you'll never do it unless your motives for doing it are stronger than your fear of the unknown.

3 situations when a bad relationship is your "merit"

1. Expect the worst from a man The monumental mistake of women at the beginning of a relationship is to expect a dirty trick from everywhere. 2. Thinking about a man is one thing, but talking about another The essence is similar to the first point: in a relationship with a man, it doesn’t matter at all what you declare if the opinion / expectation sitting inside you does not coincide with your words and actions. 3. "Coach" a man You went to see Tony Robbins, took courses in Neuro Linguistic Programming, gained the power of self-motivation. You understood what your problem was, understood how to solve it. And you really need to share this knowledge with your partner, teach him, and even worse - hope that he will change!

If a man destroys your personal space

How to act if you understand that your partner is simply “choking” you? Often we do not notice the line where care ends and total control begins. In fact, the neglect of personal space in a relationship is the psychology of an abuser. Numerous calls with questions: “When did you have lunch?”, “What time will you be back?”, “Don't forget to write when you get to the office” - this is not a concern, this is violence! If you feel like you're in a vice, don't take it! First of all, make your position clear. Let your husband know that you are a grown woman and do not need such overprotection. Alas, in most cases the abuser ignores such requests. In reality, he is not interested in anyone's boundaries. If all attempts to rectify the situation have failed, the only way out is separation. And in order to no longer fall for the hook of a toxic partner, create a strong alliance according to your own rules.

What is a healthy relationship?

You mutually love each other and this love grows stronger over time. And this means: • You didn't go into a relationship to attach a man like a plantain to your pain. You closed this pain first. • You feel that you are together, there is no feeling of loneliness. • There are no manipulations, the couple is sincere and open to each other. • Your partner does not forbid you anything, does not infringe, and you have no desire to control and forbid. • There are no insults in quarrels, no criticism and depreciation. • There are common goals and plans. There is support, a desire to help and care. And such relationships begin easily, and the dynamics of their development is quite fast and stable. There is no such thing that a man disappears, then appears. Healthy relationships give joy, a sense of security. Sometimes there are storms. But they endure and only get stronger.

Why do men like bitches?

Nice girls are not a challenge. Sometimes "easy" means "boring". Men are hunters by nature, it's in their nature. They want competition, and if they're told they can't have something, they won't back down until they get it. Good women seem boring because men don't have to make any effort to win their hearts. But bitches are hard to reach, and most men are gamblers and won't give up until they win a prize.

I'M ANGRY

And that's okay. Yes, it's NORMAL to feel ANGRY sometimes. It is as natural as any other emotion. It is inseparable from our nature whether we want it or not. No matter how you slice it, emotions just don't have an ON button. Even if you succeed in switching off anger, all other feelings go away as well. If you don't accept anger, suppress and ignore this emotion, it can lead to two extremes. The first is uncontrollable outbursts of anger causing crashing furniture and fighting. The second is passive corrosion, toxic aggression and psychosomatic illness.

About setbacks

Setbacks are inevitable on the way to your goal. When you decide to live a new life for yourself (lose weight, run in the morning, quit drinking beer, get a second degree), and are determined to do your best, but after a week or two you suddenly snap. So here's the point: setbacks happen – it's not a problem. They are absolutely inevitable, since nobody can change at the drop of a hat. The whole point is whether you give up, or willfully pull yourself together to crush it again. That's the difference between those who succeed in changing their reality and those who only think they intend to change something. There are no quick results on the road to deep personal transformation.

It's time for a change

When should you change your life? At 20, 25, 30? Is a positive transformation possible later? Transformation is possible when you have made a decision, developed a plan, and are moving toward your goal point by point. The thing is that the earlier you start moving toward your goal, the better your chances of achieving it. The problem is that if a person does not change mindfully, his or her life changes for the worse over time. A person suffers more and more, becomes more and more frustrated, goes deeper and deeper into resentment and a sense of injustice, because he or she is more and more dissatisfied with the way he or she lives and what he or she gets.

If you take out the negative

Do you think that constant conflicts, quarrels and showdowns are a real passion? Even if a quarrel occurs, a healthy discussion of the problem will help resolve the conflict, and not slamming the door, throwing everything that comes to hand. Girls, learn to distinguish passion from toxicity! And these insults to you? "Shut up" "You are dumb?" "Fuck you!" Do you have to hear such words addressed to you when your husband is angry, and when everything is getting better, he asks for forgiveness? And then everything repeats over again? It's a red flag that something is wrong with the relationship.

How to deal with female egoism?

First of all, recognize the problem, because admitting it to yourself is hard. Further, it is important to constantly work on yourself - learn to track your selfish desires and respect the opinion of your partner. What else to do to eradicate selfishness in a relationship: • Eliminate manipulation and blackmail. If you ask for something, do it gently and be prepared to be rejected. • Realize that your partner has their own needs and desires, and they may not be the same as yours. • Learn to negotiate, compromise, control your ego. If you are not an egoist, but a loved one, often remind him that you have your own desires, needs and feelings. You also need care, attention.

How to deal with with toxic people?

Don't reveal your secrets. Toxic people are often the life of the party – they inspire trust, skillfully create communication space and use relationships to their advantage. Finding people's vulnerabilities, gossiping and making fun of mutual acquaintances are a constant practice of toxic people and the strongest tool of influence. That is why it is important to deprive them of such privileges, namely to limit information about yourself and your secrets, not to gossip and remain neutral. This approach is highly likely to disarm the toxic interlocutor.

How to deal with an irresponsible colleague

Adherence to deadlines and a responsible attitude toward tasks are not a priority for such employees. They are most often described as unreliable and unable to follow a plan. These are people who prefer to do things their own way instead of sticking to standards. This is not always a bad thing, but when an important deadline is looming, such behavior is just annoying. To work productively with such a colleague, you need to up the ante. He or she is unlikely to consider it important to respond to your request on time, but will probably quickly change his/her mind when they learn that the boss is overseeing the task.

How to boost your self-esteem easily

Seek support. It is very important to have someone to rely on. Friends have a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves, on our level of happiness, and on our self-esteem. Surround yourself with people who make you feel better, help improve your mood and smile every day.

Happiness is a trend

They are constantly trying to sell it to us on Instagram, beautiful girls in shiny cars, with successful husbands and children sitting on golden pots in an embrace with a volume of Hawking’s book. People quite literally HAVE TO be happy, otherwise they will not "fit" modern standards. But happiness is not about standards. it's not something monumental and thorough, it's not something you can buy or sell, it's not even something you can post to your stories... The ability to be grateful, to be able to notice the good in every day, being surprised by the colors of the horizon at sunset, the taste of your favorite coffee, the smell of a loved one. It is to love life in all its manifestations today, now, it doesnt wait for you to get rich, move, or buy something... If you don't know how to do this, then even meeting ALL the standards will not make you happy.

How to take the first step in a relationship with a man?

The easiest way to do this is to flirt, but without pressure. By flirting, you give certain signals. And if a man is really not indifferent to you, he will definitely count them and take a step towards you. You can not act rudely and aggressively. A man will not appreciate what he got too easily. So play. Depending on the situation, choose active flirting or lighter, unhurried flirting. Be open to communication, radiate feminine energy, positive and love.

If a man is interested in you

Specific signs of a man who is interested in you and if you do not see them, you better look at someone else: He initiates communication. The more often, the more he likes you: he writes first, calls for no reason. Tries to be helpful: looking for a way to help, spares no time and effort for you. Caring. Invites somewhere, wears flowers, gives something. This is the surest sign! Touches. Well, carefully: hug, giving a coat, give a hand, hold on to the elbow. If you like him, be open, benevolent, encourage his actions.

How not to go to the store?

Getting food is a male function. To get is not just to give money. This is when a man took his money, bought food with it, came home with it and the problem was solved. Why is it important? Yes, if only because this way a man will better understand what it costs. It happens that a man accuses a woman of squandering. And he himself has not gone to the store for three years and does not know the price of food. When a man goes to the store himself, he understands what and how much it costs, he begins to realize that he needs to earn more, and in a good way he tenses up.

Our environment is our mirror

How does it work? If you are surrounded by kind, positive, lucky people, then you’re likely the same. Because those things attract things alike. If there are only nasty, lazy people and deceivers around you - maybe there is a reason to look into yourself? Just don't lie to yourself, there's no point… How does one explain this phenomenon? It's simple — we can't understand and feel what we don't know, what we haven't experienced ourselves. We judge using our own perception and compare how we feel to the way others do.

Happiness is not there somewhere, happiness is within us.

If inside you have: Fear, life will scare you. If there is aggression inside, life will "attack" you. If you have a desire to fight inside, you will get rivals. If you feel guilty inside, life will find a way to “punish” you. If you have resentment inside, life will give you reasons to be offended even more. If you have joy inside, life will give even more reasons for joy. If you have gratitude inside, life will give you even more reasons to be grateful for what you have.