Am I in control of my life or am I going with the flow?

Very few of us are in full control of our lives, fewer make informed decisions and play by our own rules. We often do what other people want us to do. Sometimes we blame the circumstances and do not believe that we can change anything. And more often we just perform the usual ritual naturally, without even noticing how our everyday days fly by. It's time to wake up and take control!

When on vacation - have a rest

Vacation is sacred. It doesn't matter who you are - a manager, a top manager or an entrepreneur — it's unreasonable to accumulate weeks of rest: you only multiply fatigue which leads to burnout. Therefore, the main tasks of a vacation are to give the brain a rest, reduce stress, experience new emotions and acquaintances, recharge energy and strengthen family relationships.

Don't make excuses, it weakens you

You make mistakes, you learn, and that is your strength. Be open and honest. Life is learning. You would never be wrong if you knew how things would end. Only life is arranged in such a way that not a single business begins in one hundred percent certainty that it will work out. Therefore, be open to the experience and honestly admit if something did not work out. Such a strategy for dealing with failure will allow you to psychologically complete the event: • you will draw conclusions and take them into account in the future, without exhausting yourself with a fruitless feeling of guilt • it will strengthen your personality - because admitting your guilt, and not dumping it on others, you act like a good person • it will strengthen your self-respect - because you recognize as wrong only your specific action, but not your entire existence. The next time you find yourself making excuses, stop and hold back. And you will feel more personal power, even if you hear a lot of unpleasant things about yourself. Hold back. Let people express their feelings towards you if they want to, and accept it courageously. Hold back. Draw your own conclusions and get on with your life.

Don't make excuses, it weakens you

The easiest way to be "good" is to find the bad one in time - the one who does not allow him to show his true flawless, unsullied ideal essence. Who is the "bad guy" these days? My wife doesn’t understand me, the bosses humiliate me, the children don’t obey, the husband doesn’t love me, my parents get me out, the transport is late, the alarm clock breaks, the doctors don’t treat me, the neighbors are noisy, the gasoline is running out, my health is deteriorating. Don't get me wrong, it's not my fault. Don't make excuses. “I’m late, sorry, I just went to bed late yesterday, there was a lot of work, several business calls in the morning, you know what kind of emergency we have now, everything is like always at the last minute, is it possible to do at least something on time - eternal rush…" "I'm late, please excuse me." Noticed the difference? Don't make excuses. Excuses make you a victim of circumstance and rob you of your vitality. You yourself begin to perceive yourself as a small fry in the full-flowing river of human relations. You lose self-respect and self-confidence. You lose the trust of other people because you fuss around your own person a lot and are constantly defending yourself.

Don't make excuses, it weakens you

In everyday life, another strategy is common: to dodge for a long time, admit your mistake with a creak, apologize through gritted teeth, make excuses for a long, long time, and in the end - make everyone around you blame, but not yourself. The lower the self-esteem of a person, the more passion and perseverance he implements this strategy. And why? Because he believes that if you choose the right excuses, then he will be “not at all guilty.” Because he thinks that a good person is never wrong. And he really wants to be a good person.

Don't make excuses, it weakens you

We all are wrong. We make mistakes. We do stupid things. We offend. Let's make miscalculations. And you need to understand the first time. When you do it, it's right. Act smart. Be mindful of the interests of others. Measure seven times and cut once. Does not work. Unless, of course, you are a living person. How to behave when you make a mistake? Admit your mistake. Apologize. To live on. Everything is simple.

6 ways to take care of yourself

• Spiritual. Spirituality is different for everyone, so try to find something that develops you in this direction. • Psychological. Here is everything that can provide psychological well-being. • Professional. Determine what is professionally important to you. • Physical. Highlight your favorite sport or exercise. • Personal. This includes everything that develops you as a person. For example: your professional development or the achievement of some significant goals. • Emotional. Make a list that allows you to discharge emotionally. You can see that many species overlap, but it's normal for someone to take care of themselves physically, just like me as a professional one.

Unfinished Gestalt

The word "gestalt" (die Gestalt) is translated as "image", "figure", "form". The term was introduced by the founders of Gestalt psychology Max Wertheimer, Kurt Koffke and Wolfgang Köhler. It means the desire of our subconscious for integrity. If, for example, in a conflict situation with a leader, you remained silent without expressing your opinion, the subconscious will return to this over and over again, developing internal dialogues: “I should have told him .... And then he would…” When the dialogues end, and the gestalt is still “penetrating”, there is internal tension, depression, irritability, aggression, loss of strength and energy. You are like a frozen computer: you seem to be working, but somehow not the way you should.

Do you need to switch roles?

In the modern world, one can often find a situation where a woman earns money, and a man takes on the functions of an exemplary householder. Here the question is natural: should this be allowed? It all depends on the situation in a particular family. It's impossible to give a definitive answer based on the question itself. This may be a temporary stage in life when such a reassignment of roles is beneficial and will benefit both parties.

Comparing yourself to others: good or bad?

This habit is laid down in childhood. First, parents compare children, put someone as an example to them. Then the child himself sees that someone's toys are better and more expensive than his. Further more: the classmate's hair is longer, the dress is more beautiful. And so all my life! If you compare yourself all the time not in your favor, then envy, resentment, anger will never let you enjoy life. It is better to compare yourself only with yourself yesterday. But there is also a useful comparison. If you compare yourself with someone and get motivated to move forward, this is a resource. You just see your potential in another person, not considering that something is worse than him.

How to get a man back

If you want a man back, I'll give you a specific plan: Answer yourself the question: "What happened between you?" His departure is a consequence. We need to understand the real reasons. Let go for real. Don't let him leave. Let the man know that you would like him to stay, but you will not force him. Take care of yourself. Find new hobbies and start living without him. Forgive. Remove claims to a man and recognize his right to leave when he wants and from whom he wants. Give thanks. Call or text him and thank him for all the good things that happened between you. Do it sincerely and with a pure heart. Meet men, chat, go on dates Choose the most worthy partner with whom you want to make each other happy.

What questions are best left unanswered?

These questions should confuse you in dealing with men at first, they say that a man wants to violate boundaries or probe them. 1. Any question about an ex. He may ask about relationship experiences, but don't let him get into a discussion about the person you were with. 2. Intimate questions that you are clearly not ready for Especially if you've only known each other for a couple of hours. For example: "How many men have you had?" 3. Questions about your income/property. It is not ethical to ask about income in general, and questions about property “smell” of fraud. 4. Questions from the category “Are your lips made or your own?” Sounds tactless. Everything related to the methods of working on oneself in terms of beauty is better not to discuss even later, remain a mystery.

Simplify your life⠀

— Don't try to read other people's minds and don't expect others to be able to read your thoughts. Communicate if you wonder about something that matters to you.⠀ — Don't expect all the people want to be your friends. We are all different, so we all like different things. — Get rid of the monster of jealousy and only compare yourself to your previous self, no one else.⠀ — Stay out of pointless dramas in other people's lives (except in critical situations and those where you can help).⠀ — Finish things you start and then start to do something else. — Accept the fact that there're things you can't change or control and focus on those you can influence.

Reasons not to worry if you haven't found your soulmate before the age of 30.

You have not lowered your own standards in face of public expectations. Particularly tactless relatives may have already said about you: "Yes, she is still waiting for the prince" or "I would find someone for myself, as much as I can sort through." But compromises should be sought when the relationship is in full swing, and not when you are choosing a second half. As long as you don't lower the bar (within reasonable limits) for a potential partner, you still have a chance to meet someone who is right for you and be with him because you are happy, not because it's time.

When you realize that you are a hero, not a victim.

Sad stories eventually get old, and even we get tired of repeating them in our heads. The truth is that even in those moments when you are a victim and something unpleasant is about to happen to you, do you have a choice where you keep going? In the past people could control certain things, isn’t it wonderful that they can't do that anymore? When you are ready to admit that you need help. Even heroes sometimes need help. Not everyone has to handle everything by themselves, and that's why we have friends and family to be around. Although you might be strong and capable of a lot, recognizing that there is too much of something is important so that you don't hurt yourself by trying to do too much alone.

12 ways to get EVERYTHING you want.

6. Twenty years will pass, and you will regret more about what you did not do than about what you did wrong. So put aside hesitation. Set sail and run away from safe harbor. Catch a fair wind. Explore. Dream. Make discoveries. 7. It is much better to burn out in flight and crash down, pursuing a high goal, than to spend the best days of your life in front of the TV somewhere in the back of life. (Actual for 95% of the population). 8. Everything that exists in the world was once just a dream... 9. He who does expects success. The one who “tryes” expects something to interfere with him. 10. Take it and do it. If you don't know what to do, take a step forward. 11. Having a goal is more important than having an opportunity. 12. Bold and brightly drawn dreams come true at least 110%. You will always receive + 10% in the form of additional bonuses from Life at the exit of your dreams.

12 ways to get EVERYTHING you want.

These are not just words! Think... 1. Those who succeed in life are those who are not afraid to dream big and then take risks to fulfill their visions. 2. When you are ready to give up, you are closer to the goal than you think. 3. Why put off your greatness until later? Why wait for a better time to fulfill your dreams and those wonderful opportunities that life opens up for you? Why not take the first step today? 4. Everything you think about comes true. 5. Follow your dreams and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls...

Despondency. Continuation.

And in a negative sense, a person begins to endure what happens to him. Even if he doesn't like it. And it starts to seem like the whole world is against me. And such a situation can lead to discouragement. This happens when we forget that we are not separate beings. And we are inextricably linked with the entire universe. And that means that everything that happens is the will of the whole. When we remember this, we begin to feel trust in the world. And we can say to ourselves: “Everything that is happening now is for the good. Even if I don’t understand why this is all happening, I trust the world.”

Despondency. Continuation.

When one event after another happens and we feel that we are unable to resist these events and our desired future is further and further away. There is no hope that we can realize our desired future. At this moment, it may seem to us that we can only accept and endure. But this is not true humility. Because true humility gives rise to an inner feeling of peace, acceptance, grace. When we feel that yes, we are not able to change everything in the outside world, but at the same time we trust everything that happens and feel that we are being led as if by the hand by something greater that exists in this world than ourselves.

Despondency.

First of all, you need to understand who is in despondency. And because of what. Answering the question WHO, we must understand that it is not we who are discouraged, this is our false self. False Ego. We ourselves are not really discouraged. And the false self shows its displeasure and feels despondent and sad because of the false self-perception. That is, the reason for staying in despondency is a false sense of self. This feeling means that we feel cut off from the whole, cut off from the world. We feel like separate beings. And when some event occurs that does not fit into our plans, does not meet our expectations, it is very easy for our desires to collapse, give up, succumb to the influence of circumstances so that we feel defeated. And it can become an overwhelming burden.