How to learn to forgive?

Unnecessary offenses poison the life, first of all, of the one who was offended. And your offender will sleep peacefully, not even bothered by the subject of your torment. So it is easier and better for yourself to forgive and let go. How to do it? MAKE THE DECISION TO FORGIVE. The most important thing about forgiveness is to realize that YOU need it much more than your abuser. LIVE YOUR EMOTIONS. Respect your feelings, don't hide them in yourself, find an opportunity to live them and feel them fully. Even if not immediately, but gradually you will become much easier. REMEMBER HOW YOU WERE FORGIVEN. Remember how you regretted your own mistakes and how important it was for you to receive forgiveness from those you wronged. Choose to be strong. Don't let your resentment poison your own life.

LOVE is a three-part recipe.

Mankind is in a constant search for the FORMULAS of love. There are many variations on this theme. I am sharing another formula, which I like so much for its brevity. The triangular theory of love is a theory of love developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg. In the context of personal relationships, "the three components of love, according to the triangular theory, are intimacy, passion and commitment." 1. Intimacy - which includes feelings of belonging, unity, connectedness. 2. Passion - which includes both romantic attraction and sexual attraction. 3. Commitment - which involves, in the short term, a decision to stay with a partner, and in the long term, joint achievements or plans for the future. And happy is the one with a complete set of these qualities in his/her relationship.

How to behave on a first date?

To be sure the first date is not the last one, it’s important to grasp a few simple rules. ▫️ Stay confident. It's okay to be nervous on a first date. Acting confident, being yourself is the surest way to look natural. ▫️ Dress appropriately. Usually on a first date a man looks at a woman from head to toe, and she tries to impress him. ▫️ Take care when choosing a fragrance. Without knowing your date's preferences, choose unobtrusive light scents for yourself ▫️ Don't be a drag. Don't burden him with your problems and don't complain. ▫ Be easy and have fun conversations about simple everyday topics. ▫️ Take off the rose-colored glasses. Do not embellish the image of a man, do not praise him, do not make long-range plans for him. ▫️ Let him pay for you. Especially if he insists on it, give him the opportunity to make a nice gesture. If the date was interesting for you, don't forget to thank him for an enjoyable time.

Loneliness in childhood leads to alcohol problems in adulthood.

People who felt lonely before the age of 12 are more likely to have problems with alcohol in adulthood. They respond more strongly to stress and usually drink to cope with negative experiences. These conclusions were made by American psychologists in the course of a study involving 310 students aged 18-29 - they filled out questionnaires.

Secret information: what men fall in love with.

Confession. He wants, just like you, to hear praise and compliments addressed to him. Made you feel good? Thank you! Common features. If you are similar to him in some way, emphasize it, people love to find kindred spirits. He knows what you need. “How did you guess that I like peonies?”. Say these phrases every time a man makes an effort to please you. mental connection. The ability to feel each other's emotions from a distance is what really catches men. Let him know that you are on the same wavelength. Common jokes and traditions. We recall what we talked about last time and return to this topic. It is important for a man to understand that you listen carefully to him and remember what he said.

Respect men.

Forget provocative phrases like "You're a man, you should", "Don't be a rag", etc. Men also want to feel loved and proud of them. They also sometimes experience confusion and fatigue. And when a woman looks at them solely as a tool for solving problems, they feel it and prefer to remain single.

How to catch a man on the "hook".

"I couldn't speak." Play with a man and don't pick up the phone for a couple of hours. However, it is imperative to follow the rules of this “game” and, after a long pause, call yourself back so that your partner is not offended that you are ignoring him. In the conversation, voice a good reason why you didn’t pick up the phone (“I didn’t hear the call because I was in the pool”, “I was in training”). The mechanics of this psychological technique is simple. A man who could not get through to you starts to worry about you and, thus, there is an emotional attachment.

Our fears are our traitors.

They keep us from becoming what we could be if we weren't afraid to try. Such fears often torment very worthy and educated people. On the one hand, "Impostor Syndrome" prevents us from admiring ourselves and pushes us to keep working on ourselves. On the other hand... "Impostor syndrome" is the fear of being exposed, of being found out that you are not competent enough, talented enough, worthy of what you aspire to and dream about. Nearly always this syndrome is experienced by people who have absolutely no basis for it. Sort yourself out, look at yourself from the outside, get rid of the barriers that you yourself have built on the way to your goal and start acting.

If you want to be HAPPY, don't wait for a better time!

Do you know the state of waiting for the best day, week, or period of your life? Admit it, you've told yourself something like: "I'll finish my quarantine and go to yoga...", "go to English courses", "take a second university degree". How'd it go? Did you go? Got in? Lots of people are used to putting their lives on pause, hoping that everything will change and the REAL LIFE will begin. But in the meantime, that real life passes by, and "waiting for a better day" becomes a constant, joyless way of living it.

How do you feel about yourself?

"Everyone is unique, and everyone is valuable. Stop comparing yourself, give yourself ratings, and instead love yourself, accept who you are, give yourself the right to be you, and give other people the same right. The most important person in your life - you and only you Recognize your value and your right to the main place in his life, because it's yours, ONLY YOUR LIFE!

Remember that character comes out in times of trouble.

It's easy to win people over when things are going well. But how do you show yourself in a critical situation? Be sure that others will remember how you behaved. Use such moments to show your best side and for yourself as well.

Be decisive.

Make a decision quickly and carefully, declare it loudly and do not look back. In non-standard situations, a prompt, albeit not quite "correct" reaction, often gives better long-term results than long-term thoughtful actions.

How to get the negative out of you quickly.

If your thoughts keep returning to an unpleasant event, find something to do and distract yourself. The most effective way to stop yourself from getting worked up is to exercise. Clean your house, go for a jog, go to the gym. Physical activity promotes the production of endorphins, which will dull the negative feelings, and fatigue will distract you from bad events.

Allegedly domestic problems...

A conflict on domestic ground took place: you and your partner did not understand each other, everyone was offended and the emotional aggravation of the situation began? Exactly this course of events prevents you from calmly and rationally looking at what is happening, and the situation acquires uncontrollable development. At this point, you need to calm down and avoid returning to a high-pitched clarification. If you are not heard, take a pause and allow your partner to think and feel, and then return later with a calm conversation on the subject.

Partner Support.

All of us have to face different circumstances in life, whether it's health problems or job loss. These are times when your partner needs support and encouragement, even though these events can be a source of tremendous stress for you as well. No need for you to portray an unfading optimism and hide your worries. The most important thing is to be there for you and for your partner to feel that together you can overcome these difficulties. Your confidence and support will not only reduce your partner's worries, but most likely will help him to mobilize all his resources to overcome the problem situation.

How to resolve family conflicts.

The easiest and most accessible option for all spouses is to use speech that is intelligible and calm. If you want to make a scandal - speak up. There is a desire to be offended and declare a boycott - speak. Thought to take revenge on her husband - still say. Take responsibility for what happens. But don't let it sit on your neck. In any conflict, both are to blame!

Find the source of your strength.

Think about what makes you feel energized, full of energy and ready for new challenges. This will help you identify your strengths. Also remember what you start doing when you feel tired or overwhelmed. At times like these, we want to take control of the situation. To do this, you do what gives you strength. By identifying what kind of activity gives you energy, in the future you will be able to overcome many problems by replenishing your strength at the right time.

Make fear and failure work for you.

If you are afraid of failure, make fear your assistant. What is needed for this? I advise you to reconsider the very definition of failure. Failure is not the exact opposite of success, failure is what will happen if you don't step out of your comfort zone. Look at any business from this angle, and the fear of failure will force you to act.

The most important thing is motivation.

We will always have activities that we do not like, but their level of usefulness for our development is usually high. Therefore, before taking up the next lesson, ask yourself a simple question: “Why am I doing this?” The answer to it will be the best inspiration for you. Muhammad Ali once admitted that he hated the daily monotonous workouts, but the clear realization that this was what would make him a champion allowed him to overcome the desire to shirk.

Tricky tricks from psychologists to stop procrastinating and finally work.

It turns out that all we need is a system to get things done. Productive Life System: 1. Motivate yourself to complete each task. 2. Set deadlines for yourself at every stage. 3. Accountability to a friend or mentor. 4. Work / study with intervals. 5. Elimination of distractions. 6. Healthy eating. 7. 30-minute daily workouts.