Don't get lost in a man.

Some women, falling in love, lose their heads. They are so afraid of losing a loved one that they literally "grow" with their husband. Personal space for such a woman ceases to exist. She wants to be aware of all the affairs and interests of her partner. Don't ever do that!

Do you know what's the most important thing to create your own reality?

There are only two things you need to learn to do well in order to create the reality you want: 1. Stop negative thinking. 2. Redirect your energy and attention to what you want to create in your reality. This is very SIMPLE advice. This skill is easy and enjoyable as well. Just try to use it! What if the reality around you really likes to grab your attention and keep it on something you don't like? Don't give in! Change the game and move towards your goal. That means to create YOUR OWN reality.

Why listening to yourself is SO important.

Insensitive people often find themselves in abusive situations. They can actually find themselves in the role of both, the aggressor and the victim. It is hard to say which is more horrible: to do it to someone else or to do it to yourself. Self-violence is also violence, in fact. Its prevention involves paying attention to yourself, to your sensitivity and vulnerability treating them like the limits of your capabilities.

Your path.

We are not like that - life is like that, ”the conviction of weak people who are not masters of their lives. Successful people believe they can have whatever they want, and they get it. You will not find here ready-made solutions to achieve your goals. You won't find them anywhere. Therefore, do not look for ready-made answers and do not accumulate a bunch of information in the hope of finding that very innermost. Everywhere you will find only advice, but not the solution itself. No one will walk your path for you - this is your lot.

Why is a person dependent on the opinions of others?

Fear of being rejected. Perfectionism, when a person believes that they can be prevented from doing something in the best way. High expectations from others. As you can see, when people become dependent on the opinions of others, they are always afraid of something, thinking that this way they will keep their safety. In fact, the opposite

Learn to say "NO"

This problem is found in many women with low self-esteem. The inability to refuse plays a cruel joke on you and provokes the process of self-flagellation. To prevent this from happening, you should overpower yourself and learn to say “no” if this or that action makes you uncomfortable. For self-esteem, it is important that you do not burden yourself with other people's tasks, regardless of whether they are related to work, friends or family.

If a man does not aspire to anything?

Are you tired of motivating, and he keeps saying “it’s okay”? A man may refuse development for two reasons: 1. For him, success and achievements have no value, he prefers idleness and peace. To motivate is like teaching a stone to fly. This can be seen in his priorities, in the way he spends his free time. 2. For him, development is something else. For example, you dream of an apartment with a mortgage, and he travels around the world for six months. That is, you do not want to motivate him, but to remake him. But he has his own vision of success. What to do with them? Leave the first one on the couch and test the theory, will he learn to be independent if he has nothing to eat? And the second one needs to be strongly loved and not redone, because if you redo it, you will make him unhappy. Is this love?

About the inner child.

While we are fussing and worrying a lot, solving various adult life problems, the little child inside us waits for us to pay attention to him. And if this doesn't happen, he begins to seek encouragement and praise from other people. This manifests itself when an adult is trying to please everyone, to be good, when he or she becomes dependent on other people's opinions. I should be "bad" or "good". And hence lives someone else's life. In case we give our inner child love and attention every day as a caring parent, we don't need external evaluation, we don't fall into dependent relationships, we can listen to ourselves and move on the road to destiny, easily overcoming any challenges and living our OWN life.

How to overcome delayed life syndrome?

You have to work on it. Determine if it is your own desire/goal/dream or you've just succumbed to other people's opinions. Think less and do more. Never berate but praise yourself for the pleasures of the here and now as often as possible, since these pleasures are actually your emotions. Plan and implement new activities that bring new emotions (entertainment, hobbies, spontaneous trips). DON'T postpone the pleasure of LIVING!

Myth: Love changes a person.

Brought up on classical literature and good films, women are sure that a great bright feeling can heal a person. Hence all these stories about how a womanizer and boor suddenly became a respectable family man. But this is nothing more than a plot for a romantic comedy. But understand one truth. An adult person is able to radically change only in one case: If he wants to and will work on himself. No inspiring speeches, let alone ultimatums, will budge a man who does not strive for development.

The husband does not know how to admit his guilt.

He is always right. Fight to the last! Never apologizes. If the dispute has reached an impasse, he may be silent for a week, but does not admit that he is to blame. Familiar? Avoid men who do not know how to admit their guilt, because the one who is always right and not guilty of anything will make you a scapegoat. You will correct his mistakes and all responsibility will fall on you, because he is perfection! Roughly speaking, he would rather set you up than stand up to his full height and say: "I made a mistake, I'll fix it." Nobody is always right. And to allow yourself to make mistakes and apologize, in fact, means to gain the freedom to be yourself.

Cry only when you are calm.

Try, as far as possible, to express critical remarks only in a calm state. While you are on edge, your husband will take your emotional intensity as an attack, and you will most likely quarrel. If you cool down a little before starting a conversation, then a constructive dialogue is more likely.

How is a personality formed?

A person is like a layer cake. The bottom layer is the basis given to us by nature. It consists of genetics and temperament. Although a genetic predisposition is passed down from parents, it does not define our future. The next layer is the child's early development, his or her traumas and decisions that shape character. Yes, character is indeed formed by traumas, and that's okay (parents can breathe a sigh of relief). And then life gives us numerous events, people, and experiences, and that's the next layer of a cake. It is superimposed on the previous "layers" and the result is a unique, special and inimitable person.

Signs of an emotional abuser.

Check if there are emotional rapists or abusers in your environment, because there is only one salvation from them: run wherever your eyes look. 1. The abuser controls and interrogates. Such a person strives to solve all the main issues and be aware of what, where, when and with whom you did 2. The abuser criticizes all the time. From such a person you will regularly hear that your figure is terrible, you are always dressed wrong, you are raising children incorrectly. 3. The abuser is rude to animals and children. A sign that does not require special comments, because a rude attitude and harsh remarks demonstrate a person’s inner craving for violence.

Is kindness a sign of strength or weakness?

A kind person is truly strong in spirit, since doing good is not as easy as it seems at first glance. The one who is able to put his own interests in the background is a strong person, because each of us can become an egoist, but not each of us can sacrifice our goals for the good of another person. Many writers have tried to answer the question posed at the beginning of the discussion. In their works, they expressed their point of view, which said that kindness is an indicator of strength.

How to love correctly: choose your love language.

First of all, you need to know what love languages ​​are: The words. Such partners need to say pleasant things out loud. Help. For them, action is more important than a thousand words. Present. Another way to the heart. Time. They need full attention. Touch. Hold hands and kiss. How to choose your love language? You need to ask yourself at what moments you feel the strongest love of a partner. Choose the three most pleasant options and ask him to do the same. With a high probability, both of you will be able to decide and use the knowledge gained.

Are you talking to a man right?

What are the most common mistakes women make when communicating with a man? If you guess, share in the comments. Many women incorrectly communicate their thoughts to their husbands, literally showering him with reproaches and demands. The main problem: non-constructive dialogue, when both partners are trying to bend their line! Yes, on the one hand, conflict situations in a couple are the norm, because it is always impossible to coincide in everything. However, the scandal often leads to more problems, rather than to the solution of contentious issues. The woman attacks, the man defends. This is the nature of our psyche. At the same time, the partners try to hurt each other more painfully. Misunderstanding grows, passions run high.

Male manipulation.

The most common male manipulation is considered an unpleasant joke. It is aimed at making a woman feel stupid, awkward. Simply put, her goal is to hurt a woman and bring her to emotions. When the goal is achieved, usually the manipulator shifts the responsibility to the woman and says: “You just don’t understand jokes” or “Yes, you are too sensitive.” From this, the woman begins to feel guilty and feel even worse.

We always reflect the world around us.

If you are mostly surrounded by kind, good, fortunate people, you probably have the same qualities. If you see deception, lying, cheating, then think about: who are you lying to? Perhaps to those around you or perhaps to yourself. That's simple - we can't feel and sense what we don't know. Our perception is our reality and we perceive others accordingly. Do you agree? These processes are actually unconscious. However, if we know how it works, then we realize that it can be changed.

Never give advice

Especially when no one expects you to. A first person's anxiety is caused by six months of insomnia and a lack of vitamins, a second's by the loss of a loved one, a third's is caused by work problems. We are all different. Everyone requires an individual approach. Someone needs a massage to relax, another one needs a workout, while someone else needs to heal from childhood trauma. The calls like "it helped me, so it will help you" do not work. Don't break yourself down, just explore. Every person is inimitable! Every story is unique.