Life Lessons Many of Us Haven't Learned

3. You must be able to stand up for yourself. The world is full of villains who strive to seize superiority over you. Nobody can afford to be defenseless. You will have to learn to be stubborn and pushy (in moderation, of course) to get what you want. 4. Today you are adored, and tomorrow you are no longer. Man is a fickle being. We go to bed in love and wake up betrayed. Sometimes the end of a relationship can mean nothing to you. And sometimes it's a tragedy. In any case, after a breakup, getting depressed about your unattractiveness and looking for flaws in yourself is a waste of time. You will have many more chances to fall in love! The only obstacle in your way is your own fear of a new relationship.

Life Lessons Many of Us Haven't Learned

1. You need to accept people as they are, or not at all. Because it is almost impossible to change them. Seriously. If you are trying to remake them and make them the way you want them to be, you can only wish good luck. Since this idea is doomed to failure. 2. Your definition of happiness is different from other people's. What works for you doesn't necessarily have to work for them. You are not a justice of the peace to judge life decisions made by friends. As one famous biblical postulate says: "Judge not, lest you be judged."

Why do you need the approval of others?

I mean, if you know for sure that this is your path, and everything you do is exactly what you want to do and what you dream about, why should you expect your relatives' or friends' approval? No, that's not bad when people who love you express their support and approval patting you on the shoulder. It's cool when your family shares your interests and supports you in every little thing. But it shouldn't and can't be your MAIN motivation. Because you are the only one who is RESPONSIBLE for your life and every action. You have the sole right to decide WITH WHOM, WHERE, and HOW...

The desire to be liked by everyone

This is an extreme degree of insecurity, as well as an example of deep neuroticism, partly even perfectionism. In addition, the more you express yourself as an individual, the more haters you'll attract. After all, great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Only underwhelming people have no enemies. And therein lies the paradox: if you don't care about others' opinion, more and more people who ACTUALLY like you come to your life along with the people who hate you.

Most of all, people get tired of themselves.

From their experiences, fears, conjectures and anxieties. Feeling guilty and trying to control everything. From the impossibility for at least some time not to run ahead (simulating situations) and not look back (looking for analogues and clichés). Stop comparing, stop scaring yourself, don't have illusions, don't think for others, stop talking in your own head...

Keep anger and irritation under control

Anger and irritation are not the best advisors in negotiations. I would like to share a technique that will help you quickly bring yourself back to your senses. Do you feel like the conversation has reached an impasse and irritation is growing? Take a break, go to another room, and try to focus on your breathing at least for 5 minutes, imagining that you exhale RAGE with the air. Breathing should be slow and deep. After you've calmed down, you can go back to the dialogue.

Resist temptations

Do it before they grow into bad habits. Limiting access to your temptations is a great addition to your willpower that can be crucial to increasing self-discipline. If you tend to be distracted by Facebook, block yourself from being online during work hours. Are you addicted to weekend shopping and can't stop? Leave your credit card at home and take only a limited amount of cash.

I just want to help

There are people who are so confident in their own omnipotence and power that they strive to help everyone. Without any regard whatsoever! It doesn’t matter if you need their help at all! After all, the person on the receiving end may not know that he needs the help, whereas these people know exactly who requires some. Relatives and close friends of these people live difficult lives. The constant projection of kindness and forcing your good deeds onto people can cause more harm than good.

Compromise

Compromise is what so often helps to save, what pride does not allow to accept, but what the soul so desires. Compromise is so simple, you need to give in a little, not give up, but change the conditions ... But it's so difficult. It is so difficult because it seems that giving in means showing weakness, but in fact, compromise is a huge strength of personality, love and mind.

The harder the climb, the better the view

There is no magical staircase that will let you “reach the top” instantly. There will be ups and downs, but in general, you should always aim to move forward. Yes, it will be difficult, it will be hard, but when you reach the top, you will not regret it for a fact!

Signal phrases-triggers.

There are trigger phrases that often mean that the feelings of a lover have long faded. “I can’t tell you everything!” If your conversation causes a storm of negativity, then he has something to hide. And in order not to blurt out, he prefers to reduce communication to a minimum. “These are your problems.” This coldness is a concrete sign that he doesn't care about what's going on in your life. “Do what you want” If you have to ask for support, and beg for attention to yourself and your problems, then there is no smell of healthy and loving relationships here.

Feminine and masculine energy.

Male and female energy in a relationship balance each other. And if someone takes on other people's functions, then the second one does not automatically perform them. For example, if the wife performs male functions by 70%, then the husband is left with 30%. And that's exactly what he will do. When we build a family, it's better for everyone to do their own thing, and not climb into someone else's. This does not mean that the woman is not involved in the process. Believe me, our role is very important. It is we who give the spouse most of the energy for accomplishments, create conditions for relaxation, and inspire new feats.

How to know in 5 minutes that you will break up?

Watch your fight! Breaking up couples fight each other. They fight among themselves and the subject of the conflict serves only as a pretext for starting a showdown. The scandal quickly becomes personal. Saved couples quarrel over the subject of the dispute. Without getting personal and without putting all relationships into question because of the subject of the conflict. Conclusion: behavior in a quarrel is just an indicator of the deep relationship of people to each other.

The relationship problem

This is the problem of balancing autonomy and attachment (or autonomy and connection). On the one hand, one must learn to be in a relationship with another without giving in to the desire to avoid isolation by becoming attached to that other. But he or she must also learn, while in a relationship with the other, not to treat his or her partner like a means of avoiding isolation. Past love is the source of your strength, while present love is the result of your strength.

In our consumer society, novelty has become the key to everything.

The mechanism of obsolescence is built into products from the beginning and it's supposed to make us buy something new. Relationships are subject to the same tendencies. We live in a culture that constantly promises us something better, newer, more interesting. So now people divorce not because they feel unhappy, but because they believe they can be happier.

Have you ever noticed how after the words "you can't," our brain starts to want it desperately?

Just when we decide to give up alcohol, our body urgently needs a dose of alcohol. Just when we swear not to bless out, dirty words slip out immediately. It happens because of the prohibition, which you want to get around. To overcome this problem, it is important not to stop your forbidden thoughts, but to relax and accept them as a given. Try to understand that there are no restrictions at all, you can break any promise even now, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE! Instead of hiding from the forbidden fruit, it's better to think about the result of your efforts. It will inspire you to stick to your chosen path.

Do you know the difference between a master and a common man?

It lies in the fact that a master has mastered a particular skill. That is, the person once learned or tried something and realized what benefits he or she gets in doing it. So the person tried it again and again. As soon as he or she find their weaknesses, fears or shortcomings, they eliminate them. The more challenges he or she overcomes, the stronger they become. There's one more important element of this process – self-observation. Endless self-awareness. It's an evaluation of one's own effectiveness and the quality of results.

Sleep Affirmations

We are used to the fact that repeating affirmations are a morning practice. However, bedtime affirmations are also very effective. Your brain is just as active in the evening with hundreds of thoughts running through it. Negative attitudes slip through as well. Let's try to analyze and transform them into positive ones. For example: "I am sluggish, and I didn't manage to take my time again". "I am really good, I did a lot of pleasant things today". Positive affirmations before going to sleep help calm down, refocus our energy and attention on the positive, review the day and keep our mind off mundane matters.

The Power of Gratitude

Inner gratitude for everything that surrounds a person is a sign of a high level of awareness. It is even more than just awareness. It's our POWER. Thanks to this power, we reveal our potential, as well as increase energy and motivation, and the meaning of life becomes clearer and more vivid. Furthermore, you can get to the next level if you express your gratitude through actions, deeds and behavior.

It could have all been different

So it begins... Biting your elbows and lips, brating yourself up over the fact that you should have done everything differently, say it differently, slam the door louder and leave earlier. Quit it! It is important to learn to experience the consequences of wrong choices without self-destruction, self-torture and sleepless nights. There is no point in tormenting yourself with what you can no longer change.